5 THINGS THAT HELP ME DEAL WITH ANXIETY & OCD

 

I've been dealing with severe anxiety and OCD for so long, I can't even remember life without it. I was officially diagnosed with anxiety as a teen, and OCD maybe 5 or so years ago, and it's been an uphill battle to find ways to cope with these issues on a day-to-day basis. I've seen therapists, been on medication, tried relaxation and meditation - all the things. My anxiety at one point was so bad that I rarely left the house alone, and couldn't order at cafes/restaurants or make a purchase myself because of my anxiety over interacting with someone. It was bad. I would also constantly struggle with worst-case scenario thoughts, and having to check things multiple times (even going back home to do so) just in case I'd forgotten something important, which is something I've only overcome in the past year.

It's taken a lot of hard work and perseverence to take control of my anxiety and OCD (instead of the reverse), and I definitely still have my bad days - but finding ways to deal with it all has helped me immensely. I'm a lot more confident and outgoing (which is literally my natural state, without the anxiety), I speak up for myself and for others, I'm independent, and I'm thriving!

If you also suffer from anxiety and/or OCD, or any of the things I mentioned above resonate with you, then hopefully by sharing some of my coping methods with you below, you'll find something useful in your own life!

1. Taking photos for reference.

This trick isn't exactly a cure, but it sure does help relieve worry and reduce the amount of OCD checking I would otherwise do. If I'm going out for the day (or any extended time) I'll take photos of things like plugs/wall sockets, the closed door, the oven being off, and water in the cat bowl. It seems a bit crazy, but it means I don't spend forever going around the house to make sure I've done these things, having to turn around and go home, or stressing about 'not knowing' all day until I get home - because I can simply check the photos and put my mind at ease. 

2. Take a deep breath.

Welcome to 'anxiety coping methods 101' - but really, taking a deep breath, and then another, and then another, and focusing on my breathing instead of my anxiety or increased heart rate until I'm even a little more relaxed works wonders, and is an essential first step when you're about to (or already) spiralling.

3. Talk to someone.

Whether it's a friend, family member, partner, or even your therapist - sometimes you just need to talk to someone you trust and who will support you. I'm lucky to have my mum and some close friends who I know I can turn to if I'm having a hard time and just need to talk it out instead of letting it build up in my own head, or even just a light-hearted conversation that gets my mind off of things.

4. Listening to music.

It sounds really simple, but it works. I put on a playlist that either gets me in a good mood or relaxes me, and I focus on the music, the words, and taking my mind off the constant racing thoughts and overwhelming emotions I'm dealing with. It's not a cure, but it sure is the perfect distraction.

5. Reminding myself that I'm okay, and can only do my best.

When I begin to spiral with anxiety or catastrophic thinking, it can be hard to pull myself out of my own head and just calm down. One of the first things I try to do when this happens is to tell myself that I'm okay, this is my anxiety and not my reality. I remind myself that I can only do my best. I've done what I can in whatever the situation is - from stressing that I've offended someone to panicking that I've left an appliance on - and that's all I need to do. I can't control everything that happens, and I don't have to. Things will be fine!

Anxiety and OCD can be crippling, but there's a light at the end of the tunnel, and while it may not be easy, it's definitely possible to make it through!

xx Chontelle Louise

23 GOALS FOR 2023

 

Well, 2022 is officially done and dusted! Smash Mouth really weren't kidding when they said 'the years start coming and they don't stop coming', were they? Alas, it's that time of year again where we get to reflect on the year that's gone, what we've done and achieved, and look at what we want to continue, change, or do differently in the new year! 

I'm a list person, but I'm also rea-list-ic (see what I did there?), I like to organise pretty much everything with lists so I know exactly what I want or am doing, how to prioritise, and can get that little rush of adrenaline every time I get to tick something off as I go! And what better way to hold myself accountable (and manifest these goals into reality) than to make a good ol' fashioned list of goals? So that's exactly what I've done!

1. Read more books!
I've been a bookworm since I was little, and used to spend most of my spare time reading anything and everything I could get my hands on. As I've gotten older and had more responsibilities, less free time, and less energy, I've slacked off on my reading. Which sucks, cause it's a major serotonin booster for me! I've actually been working on reading more often the last few months (big thankyou to Colleen Hoover), but I want to continue and read even more in 2023!

2. Try new restaurants and bars.
I'm somewhat of a creature of habit - I do love to try new places and tell myself I'm going there next time, but I always end up going back to the same spots. It's not that I don't want to, it's just easier. In 2023 I want to push myself and make plans to actually visit and try all the restaurants and bars I've been saying I'll check out!

3. Appreciate the little things.

4. Get a full-time job in social media / writing / communications / marketing.
Back in April - after a lot of hard work, stress, and dedication - I finally graduated with my Bachelor of Mass Communication. I've been working in retail/management throughout my studies and while I do love fashion, I don't want a long-term career in retail. I worked hard for my degree, I've been doing an amazing Internship in Social Media and Content Creation, and I'm ready to make the move into my dream career! Bonus if I can combine my love for social media/writing/comms with my love for fashion (there's some roles I'm manifesting coming my way as we speak)!

5. Cook.
I'm so over getting takeaway all the time, or making the most basic meals (or ready meals) at home. I literally know how to cook, but I just don't seem to have the motivation to do so. Then, I complain about the stuff I'm eating or buying out all the time - the definition of 'the consequences of my own actions'. So, next year I want to cook at home more often - even if I don't feel like it, I'll thank myself later!

6. Travel (more).
Let's be honest, this one's pretty much always going to be on my yearly goals list - and I'm totally okay with that! I definitely want to try and visit at least one new country or city, but I'd also really love to go to Melbourne, London and Paris again - let's see how we go!

7. Let myself relax.

8. Start writing a novel.
I've always dreamed of being an author, and I've started so many stories with a lot of potential - but I've never followed through. I don't expect to have a finished and printed book by the end of next year, but I want to plan a storyline, characters, and begin writing something I can develop and one day publish!
*Shameless plug* If you want to read the last thing I made a decent amount of progress on, check out this story I was working on over on Wattpad as a teenager! Apparently it's still doing pretty well over there!

9. Stop second guessing myself.

10. Exercise.
I used to go to the gym or do home workouts, go for walks and just generally be more into fitness. Since I injured myself at work, I haven't been able to workout really and so I've let this one slide, and while I'm still not able to do what I used to (yay for long term injuries) I definitely want to make an effort to do whatever I can manage in the new year!

11. Spend more quality time with family and friends.
Relationships are super important to me, but I have a tendency to isolate myself and just stay at home in my comfort zone. Other than the occasional night out with friends or trip to the shops with mum, I've really struggled with not having enough quality time with the people I care about. I want to change that next year!

12. Focus on myself and stop worrying about everyone else.
As someone with anxiety and a major people pleaser, I'm always worrying about everyone and everything else around me and constantly ignoring my own needs. I've already started the self-work to break this habit but in 2023 I want to get over it completely!

13. Stop procrastinating.
I have a major tendency to procrastinate, avoid things and leave it all to the last minute - which only causes me more stress! I'm gonna make an effort to stop that this year!

14. Take care of my health.
I may only be in my twenties, but I've got a lot of health issues - lucky me, right? I know I need to really take proper care of myself, so it's time to book those appointments, make those phone calls, make the time to prepare healthy meals and exercise!

15. Declutter (frequently).
One of the things that overwhelms me the most is clutter, and while I'm relatively good at keeping the house and my room in order, things like my wardrobe, makeup drawer, and the biggest offender - my phone's photo album - could definitely use a good clear out more often.

16. Take more photos.
I'm hugely sentimental and I love capturing moments and memories, but for some time now I've neglected that interest, whether it be because I feel awkward, don't think the photos look good enough (perfectionist issues over here), or just don't feel like it at the time. But that means I have way less pictures to look back on, which really makes me sad. I'm making an effort to capture every moment (or more than I do now) next year!

17. Let go of any negativity and anything holding me back.

18. Save for a house deposit.
This is another one of my bigger goals for 2023 that may take longer and require more dedication, and one I've already been working on this year. I've done the math, figured out how much what I'd like will cost and what I need to save - now I just need to keep on saving! This one will definitely take a bit longer, but I'm going to work hard on it!

19. Do more things solo.
Sometime's there are things I want to do but can't I find anyone to do them with me, or maybe I just want to enjoy my own company. I want to take myself out shopping, to museums, and even concerts (going solo to MCR this year), I don't always have to be with someone to have fun!

20. Be more conscious of my spending.

21. Get my own apartment.
(Or at least work towards it). I'm a super independent gal, as well as an ambivert (essentially hopping between extroverted and introverted). I do love being around people but I also love my alone time and my social battery can get drained quickly. I'm currently sharing, and while it can be great at times, I'm honestly dreaming (and daydreaming) about having a little place to call just my own!

22. Be more positive.

23. Be happier.
Last but not least - I want to work on being in a better mood, avoiding drama, not letting the little things get to me so much, and enjoying my life to the fullest. I've got so much positive stuff in my life, and I want to focus on that!

Sure, I may not achieve them all - but maybe I will! And why not be ambitious about what I want to do in the new year? Here's to an amazing 2023! 

What goals do you want to achieve next year?

xx Chontelle Louise

MAKEUP BAG ESSENTIALS

We're going back to the roots of this blog (circa 2015) with a classic beauty products post! Today I want to share my most-loved, everyday, absolutely essential makeup products! These are my tried and tested, ride-or-die products that I can't live without (figuratively speaking, of course), the products I wear on the daily and will take with me everywhere to keep me looking my best!

Beauty Blender Bounce Liquid Whip Foundation

I picked this foundation up on a whim while browsing Sephora a year ago, it was half price and I'd been wanting to try a new foundation for a while so I thought 'why not?', not thinking I'd love it as much as I do! I've tried a bunch of different foundations, but had been loyal to MAC Studio Fix since I was in high school (and it's still #2 for me), and this was the foundation that finally took the crown from MAC as my new favourite! I have combination skin, and I like a medium-to-full coverage that doesn't separate after a few hours or look cakey and gross - this one doesn't do either of those things! It leaves my skin looking flawless and is a great base for other products - j'adore!

Benefit Hoola Bronzer

I've been using this bronzer religiously since 2015, and honestly it's amazing. It's a cool-toned matte, but still has enough warmth to give you a beautiful glow. I just have the OG shade, which I find perfect for me even with pale skin, but if you're super pale or if you have dark skin then they've also got light and dark Hoola options! It also lasts forever - I've been using mine since the end of 2015 (yeah, I probably should've replaced it by now but it works perfectly still and no irritation sooo)!

Ofra Pillowtalk Highlighter

As a pale gal who loves anything pink, this highlighter is right up my alley! Ofra highlighters came onto my radar back when they were trending with Beauty Vloggers, and I'm thankful they did because I honestly don't know what I'd be using right now otherwise. Fair warning, these are pretty intense (no matter the shade you pick), but if you're light-handed you can easily use them for everyday, and then when you want your highlighter to really POP - this product has got your back!

Colourpop Flutter By Palette

This is literally my ultimate neutral, everyday eyeshadow palette. It's a cool-toned neutral palette, but not so cool-toned that things look grey or muddy. It's the perfect in-between with cool browns, neutral taupes, and some pink/lavender toned shimmers, along with some deeper chocolates and a shimmery wine shade. The shadows themselves are great quality (as usual with Colourpop, in my experience) and easily comparable to much pricier high-end options. I hope they never discontinue this one, because I haven't seen anything that compares personally!

Lime Crime Plushies Soft Liquid Lipstick 'Milk Tea'

This is literally my perfect nude shade - I've got light/fair, neutral-toned skin, and I've always found it SO difficult to find a truly flattering nude lipstick. Most of the time, they pull orange on me, or if I try something cooler it pulls grey/purple - I've gone through so many lipsticks looking for just a nice, soft cool pinky/brown nude (who knew it would be so hard?!), and when Milk Tea arrived, I finally found it! As well as being the perfect shade, the product itself is really lovely - it's halfway between a regular matte liquid lipstick and a lip blush effect, it's easy to blot and layer to get the look you want, and it doesn't crack or dry out your lips! I'm currently awaiting a delivery with a replacement plus some other colours I'm excited to try out!

Lime Crime Wet Cherry Gloss 'Disco Cherry'

The comeback of lip gloss is something I didn't expect but am absolutely happy about, and Lime Crime's Wet Cherry Gloss' are by far my favourites! I love Disco Cherry in particular because it's the most versatile - I can use it when I'm wearing no makeup or just something minimal, or I can layer it with a lip liner or over a liquid lipstick for some extra shine and sparkle! Plus, I love anything glittery and this gloss definitely delivers on that!

Glow Recipe Lip Pop

This lip balm is my all-time fave - it's a lip balm that doubles as a scrub, tints your lips a pretty, plump pink, is super hydrating, and smells delicious! It comes in two flavours, watermelon and blueberry (both smell delicious and are very similar shades), and I honestly take it with me everywhere. It's great for no-makeup days, applied before bed and in the morning to keep your lifts fresh and smooth, or even a little on top of lipstick that's been on a while and drying out a bit!

Maybelline The Falsies Lash Lift Mascara

As someone who is too lazy to apply falsies often, and scared to get extensions (sensitive eyes/skin, not to mention the cost), I like to have a good mascara that gives me the biggest, lushest lashes possible. This mascara does just that! I've been using Maybelline mascaras for years and they're definitely some of the best on the market, and while I do change things up occasionally, this is the one I seem to keep coming back to!

xx Chontelle Louise

LONDON STYLE

 

Ahh, London - one of my all-time favourite cities - it holds a special place in my heart!

If you're heading out to explore London, my best bit of advice is to dress comfortably - you're gonna be on your feet (a lot), walking, running between buses and up and down old flights of stairs to catch the tube, and trying your best to zig-zag between massive crowds - especially if you're out on a sunny day or the weekend.

My go-to style was definitely lots of black and denim (trying to keep up with that minimal but cool aesthetic Londoner's seem to do so effortlessly), sneakers and ankle boots, and a good jacket to chuck over any outfit - because the weather can be highly unpredictable!

Items featured:
Oversized faux leather jacket - Princess Polly
Crossbody bag - Peta & Jain
Tie front top - Ally Fashion
Dark denim mom jeans - Zara
LBD - Princess Polly
Wide leg jeans - Thats So Fetch
Ankle boots - Dolls Kill (Current Mood)
Sneakers - Nike

xx Chontelle Louise

A QUICK TRIP TO SYDNEY

  

Back in September I went on a last-minute short trip to Sydney, for a little bit of an escape after a hectic time!

The Phantom of the Opera was playing at The Sydney Opera House, and it's probably the one famous musical I've always wanted to see - and it did not disappoint! The whole production was incredible, and afterwards we went to dinner at Grana - a restaurant I'd heard about through TikTok just a short walk over from Circular Quay. The food was great and the vibe and aesthetic too - great for some Insta shots!

 

 

 

The next day we wandered around beautiful Hyde Park, coffee in hand to keep us warm as underprepared Queenslander's, and visited the St Mary's Cathedral - which is such a stunning building and a must-see on any visit to Sydney!

 

 

 

 

And of course, a return to Circular Quay to get some touristy AF pics - because you can't go to Sydney and NOT get photos with the Harbour Bridge and Opera House (duh)!

 

I'm already looking forward to heading back again, hopefully soon!

I also put together some short vlogs of the trip over on my TikTok - check them out here and here!

xx Chontelle Louise